I just finished reading a post by my friend Rick Cockrum and I believe it is worth sharing with my friends and readers.

I was with an old friend today, I had the intention of going out with her years ago but she turned me down While talking and I complimented her beauty, she told me she doesn’t see herself in such a way. I was taken aback and when I prodded her further she just told me she is suffering from a negative image.

How I wish I had seen Rick’s post before I met her, I would have been able to convince her the more about her being an heroine. But I am still going to print the message out for her to read.

Rush to Rick’s blog to read this wonderful post:

HEROES

Outrageous lifestyles of successful living are envied by most of the world. Are you part of the envied? Or are you part of the envying? If you are living a successful life by your own standards, congratulations. If you haven’t quite reached that level yet, then this article is for you.

There are several characteristics that those who practice successful living possess. The characteristics listed below are NOT any of them. In fact, they are the opposite. See if you possess these characteristics and, if you do, my advice to you is… change.

The Dreadful Dud
The dreadful dud is the person who answers questions with one word. Any time there is anyone who wants to initiate a conversation with the Dreadful Dud, the conversation is dead before it gets started. These people are not mean or necessarily rude. They just don’t believe they have much to contribute, so they cut it short as much as possible. Consequently, the conversations become fewer and fewer.

Eventually, the Dreadful Dud gets the reputation of the dull guy or girl. Or you might say he or she is a dud. Don’t be a dud. Practice your natural personality. Did you know that you were created to enjoy life? Did you know that life is meant to be tasted? There are juices inside to be experienced. When was the last time you took a chance? Live life as it’s something to be loved. Practice makes perfect. Practice passion. Practice charisma. It’s who you really are.

The Social Soloist
The Social Soloist is the person who never begins to live and love life. This person finds him/herself at home, alone, on the couch, every night, watching silly reality programs. The Social Soloist finds purpose in who is going to have to eat the next set of buffalo testicles or who is going to be kicked off an island.

The irony of the whole thing is the Social Soloist is at home experiencing nothing while he/she watches those who are actually living and loving life. Does that make sense? Instead of trying to escape through the boob tube, get out and meet people. If you must start small, invite some people over to watch a decent movie. Eventually, it will develop into a social fun time and, who knows, it just may move out of the TV room.

The Pitiful Procrastinator
Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. Ever hear that one? How ridiculous! Have you ever known anyone that lived by this motto? How frustrating! The Pitiful Procrastinator always finds him/herself stressed out and behind in life. Why? They keep putting it off! Everything is always put off until later. Nothing is ever done in time. And when it eventually gets done, it’s shoddy and half-way completed. They just want to hurry up and get over with… whatever “it” is.

Laundry. Homework. Dishes. Meetings. Confrontation. Putting gas in the car. Changing Careers. You name it, it never gets done when it needs to get done. Life will pass the Pitiful Procrastinator by. And when it’s too late to make up his/her mind, regret will take hold. Do not let regret arise and dominate your mind. Instead, take control of your mind right now. Make a freakin list and stick by it! Don’t fall prey to the practice of the Pitiful Procrastinator. Remember, practice makes perfect.

The Unknown Optimist
These people have such positive energy they could suck the life out of the room if they were to make a phone call during a New Years Eve party. While everyone is having such a good time, making plans and looking forward to the future, the unknown optimist looks to the dark side. The unknown optimist looks to the dark side of everything. If you were to tell this person that he just won $1,000.000.00, he would say something like, “Great! Now I’m going to be in a higher tax bracket and have to pay more taxes.”

The unknown optimist lives in a vacuum that you do not want to live in. It’s the “everything sucks” vacuum. Take inventory of your overall attitude. Don’t take the extreme opposite route either. If you go to the opposite extreme, you’ll find yourself on the Pollyanna platform. A great place to be is in the realistic but optimistic middle. While you’re there, be sure to live and love life.

If you are one of those people who find it hard to say “No” to a request or turn down a favor from a friend or colleague, then this is for you. Normally, though you are aware how full your schedule is or how difficult it would be to do something you are asked to, you always end up saying “Yes,” although your mind says “No.”

Below are some tips that will surely help you get over the fright of saying that two letter word again next time.

• You Can’t Please Everybody. Remember, you can’t please everybody; so stop doing so. If you think that doing your crush’s paper while you have your own paper due the next day is a smart move, then you are definitely wrong. You might want to give an impression that you are smart, you can handle anything and that you are in total control. But be wary, because before you know it, you’re already headed towards doom. Worst case scenario, you will be able to make a flawless project for her and you won’t be able to pass any for yourself.

• Be Honest. If your boss asked you to do a report for him while you are still juggling the heaps of paperwork due very soon, then you might as well be honest enough to tell him that you are rushing something and you’re afraid that you won’t be able to do what he’s asking. However, in turning down a job given by your boss, be sure that you said no because you really can’t do it and not just because you just feel lazy.

Nevertheless, before accepting any order, think it over a hundred times if you’re really capable of finishing it on time. Based on a study by North Carolina researchers, people over commit because they expect to have more time in the future than they do in the present. So, next time, before taking the plunge, consult your planner first then decide if it’s really a “Yes” or a “No.”

• Be Selfish. I know that greed is one of the Seven Capital sins, but being selfish, in the sense that you think of your welfare first before pleasing everyone, is not bad. If a friend is borrowing money from you and you are on a tight budget, don’t be afraid to say “No.”

Turning down someone when you really can’t help him is not bad. You wouldn’t want to sacrifice your allowance for the next few weeks just to help your friend, would you? On the other hand, if do you feel that your friend is really in dire need of money, do offer to help him to look for a potential person to borrow some moolah from. In this way, you will feel less guilty of not being able to lend him some.

• Stop Carrying the World. You are the leader of a school play. You offer to write the script and you took the job of bringing in costumes for everyone when they asked you to. You even agreed to do the invitations and posters when the publicity committee told you they can’t do them because they are preoccupied with other school stuff. But, hey, at least they promised to help you out with giving away the invites and posting the announcement.

Get real! You are not Superman to save the day and be everybody’s assistant; so stop acting like one. While it’s understandable that you want everything to be all right as the leader of the group, carrying the load of their tasks for them is not beneficial. You’re teaching your members to be more indolent rather than be responsible

• If in Doubt, Don’t. When your superior is asking you to be the person in charge for a big company project and you feel that you don’t have enough capacity, yet, to lead it, then say “thank you” for being chosen but politely decline the request. It is easier to turn down something you are not sure of than to get out of an embarrassing situation when you can’t handle the responsibility well.

Whether you admit it or not, they are everywhere; and no matter how hard you try to avoid these kinds of people, there’s always a high risk of bumping into them. They can be in your school, workplace, community, or maybe in your family.

Learning to cope with difficult people is considered a skill. Not everyone has the ability to deal with them without losing their wits.

Below are some tips that will help you keep your cool and your cards intact the next time you get to encounter complex people.

• Extend The Thread Of Your Patience. No matter what you say and do, you’ll never get an unmanageable person down. So, the best weapon you could probably have is to always keep your cool. Remember, when this person sees that you are being aggravated and are starting to lose your temper, all the more will they find a reason to fight you back.

• Never, Ever, Force Them To Agree With You. Since difficult people always think that they are always right, there’s no way you can win against them, no matter the amount of reasoning you give. So, if you can, resist the urge to fight and win over an argument because you never will. Even you reach court, the chances of him or her accepting that he or she is wrong is still far-fetched.

• Be Careful With Pushing their Buttons. One touch on the wrong button and you’re doomed. Handle difficult people with care, unless you want them throwing tantrums at you. Learn to go with the flow. The secret is not to avoid them but to sail with them. As what people usually say, “Different strokes with different folks.” And, obviously, these kinds of people need more special stroking than the others.

• Respect Each Other’s Opinions. Since you can never get this person to agree with you, it is better to just respect his opinion and relinquish the idea of you and him agreeing with one thought. That is, unless, you finally decided to see eye to eye and give up your belief.

• Don’t Take Things Personally. According to philosopher Don Miguel Ruiz, difficult people are those kinds of people who live in their own dreams and versions of reality. So, every time a person gives you a hard time, just remind yourself that all he or she says about or against you is just his or her means of projection from a state of incognizance.

Just let everything he or she says enter your right ear and exit the left. Don’t take personally any harsh and rude things he or she is saying because the truth of the matter is, they don’t really see and care about you; they’re just concerned about their own interpretation of things and you.